Last night, I chose to stay up late and spend time with my brother on his last night visiting me. That meant that I was a bit short on sleep, because we had to get up early so that we could get him to the airport on time.
Last week, I had a night where I didn’t get much sleep. It made me feel like a wreck the next day. Like I couldn’t do anything. I certainly wouldn’t have driven all the way to Boise and back feeling like that.
But last night, I went to sleep with some positive self talk. That I would be able to do what I needed to do, even if I only got about 6 hours of sleep. That I would be able to do it, because I had to do it. My brother was counting on me.
Lately, I’ve been hitting the snooze button in bed. I just don’t want to face the day in a world without Ambrose. But this morning, I jumped out of bed after turning my alarms off. I knew that staying in bed would delay me too much. I refused the inertia of the covers and started my day.
And later, I thought that if I can get right out of bed, on a night with short sleep, for my brother, then I can do it for myself as well. Lingering in bed doesn’t help me. I’m planning to get moving again tomorrow morning.
I got a few errands done in Boise and on the way home. I stopped by a friend’s house at her lunch time for a quick visit. I did some weeding in the evening after I got home, because my neighbor gifted me some bulbs and I’d like to plant them around my lilac bush. It will make weeding trickier to have more flowers in the plot, but I think it will look beautiful.
Tomorrow, I work a partial day. I’m feeling better about it right now. No promises on how I’ll feel tomorrow.
It’s almost like each day is a new puzzle. No two days are exactly the same. What works one day will produce the opposite effect the next. It’s all about solving for the present moment.
I feel that my brother’s visit helped orient me in the present. He moved a lot, physically. Looked for things to organize. Puzzles to solve, perhaps. He helped me see puzzles to solve. He got to sit in on choir rehearsal. I was happy that he got to see the rehearsal. Choir helps me be in the present, too. It feels good to sing in a community, striving for the same purpose.
Hot springs tomorrow!