Sleep was not great last night. I’ve got more digestion issues going on, and that kept waking me up throughout the night. Hard to get out of bed at the alarm.
I geared up for the snow that had fallen overnight and did my mile. My headlamp was completely dead, but the clouds were so low that the lights from town gave me enough glow to see by. It was neat, walking in the dark that wasn’t really dark, with the snow around me glowing faintly with reflected light.
Things are finally moving for me in regards to legal matters. I’ve signed a document and got a letter from my therapist assuring the court that I am, in fact, in therapy. I’ll be taking a drug and alcohol evaluation this weekend, and then doing whatever class might be required based on the assessment. Here’s hoping it’s a short one considering I don’t drink and I’ve been completely sober for over a month now.
I got an acknowledgement in the mail today from work regarding my 14 year anniversary of working there. I’m kind of impressed with myself that I have been working not just in the same place, but in the same department for that long. It’s thanks to Ambrose that I have the discipline to have accomplished that. He helped me grow in so many ways.
After work, I walked down to the crab feed. It’s an annual fundraiser by the local Baptist church. All you can eat, fresh caught Dungeness crab. Ambrose and I went last year and enjoyed ourselves. I could have tried to get a ride, but I decided I’d rather walk. And I’m glad I did; I saw some beautiful clouds as the sun fell behind the ridgeline.
My neighbors were volunteering this year, so I didn’t have anyone to sit with. It took me a bit, but I found some empty seats at a table and asked if they were occupied. I claimed a seat and then ended up in line just in front of some people who were sitting at the same table, though I didn’t realize that until we all sat down.
The line was long, but at least it was all indoors this year. I chatted a bit with the folks near me in line. When I got to the front, I collected some coleslaw and a piece of garlic bread along with two clusters of crab to start. After working my way through those, I got one more, a big one. And, after that, I went ahead and got a fourth. One of my neighbor’s joined me for his dinner, and, later, my other neighbor joined me for dessert.
The food was delicious. It feels like a long time since I stuffed myself with good food, and tonight I did that. I chatted with the folks who were sitting near me, though we didn’t exchange introductions. It was a good night, and my neighbor gave me a ride home.
But it’s sad that Ambrose wasn’t there to share the night with me. I just miss him. I miss being around him. Last year we kind of raced to eat the crab fastest. He won, but only because he wasn’t bothering with the little joints while I was trying to get every last morsel out of my crab. I wore my necklace with my mom’s ring and his ashes, and I couldn’t stop fiddling with it while I waited in line. But I did hold it together until I got home. And my guts actually cooperated and didn’t embarrass me with loud or stinky gas while I was out. Yay!
Tomorrow, I’ll get some work done, go to the transfer station with a different neighbor, and do some things to prepare for my court date. I’ll get a morning walk when I wake up, and my Saturday 5k walk in the afternoon. It’s time to dig in with discipline and get into a good routine. I can do this. I’m stronger than I realize. A friend on the Move U forum reminded me of that.
