I lingered in bed this morning. I skipped out on morning walk and morning shower. I blame daylight savings time. I’m not going to make a habit of that.
I had some really interesting dreams. One of them had an actor from a show I watch; it’s funny, the actor is supposed to be a super hot guy on the show, but I don’t find the character attractive. But I found the actor’s TikTok and he’s so much cuter not being that character. In another dream, I was walking around this kind of flea market type space when someone took out a gun and started shooting at random. I wasn’t scared for some reason. I took cover, but I wasn’t scared.
I still got to work on time, which this week means 15 minutes early. I had someone call out sick so I had busy work to occupy me. That was probably for the best. The headache had mostly disappeared overnight, but I didn’t feel well rested. By doing the busy work, I was able to get inspired to focus on other things that I need to do.
I was virtuous and made up for my missed morning walk by taking a half mile walk at my morning break. Then my regular half mile at lunch, and a mile after work at 5:15. I had a busy evening. I ate dinner after my walk, and then drove down to Weiser to go grocery shopping. I had thought that I might do grocery shopping on the way home from Boise, but when I was done with the community service, all I wanted to do was get home. I stocked up on some things that aren’t available at the local store, like my favorite NA beer and the herbal tea that helps me poop when I need it. I’m starting to think about budgeting, how I need to get started with that, but I think I can avoid it a little while longer.
Once I got home, I got the groceries put up, and then did some spinal oscillations and shoulder work for my Move U exercises. I tried doing my ten minutes of staff spinning with the paced breathing app, which guides me to breathe in for 5 seconds and out for 5 seconds. And, because of something my dad suggested, I also tried to focus on one point while I did the spinning. I face my front door when I do it, and I focused on one particular place in the window of the door. I focused so hard that I actually dropped the staff at one point, but I picked it right back up. I’m going to keep up with that practice. Though when the weather is nice, I might take the staff spinning outside.
I cried a bit today. It felt good. To think of him and feel how much I miss him. To acknowledge the emotions that I felt I had to keep a lid on for Saturday. I wonder if that impacted the headache that I developed or if it was all the dehydration… I’m already planning things for next time, like bringing a dinner so I won’t have to stop anywhere before I head home. I can make two PB&J sandwiches, bring an apple, some extra protein bars. And a coconut water to drink on the way home.
I’ve kind of got a full week. Games with neighbors tomorrow, hot springs on Wednesday, family zoom on Thursday, and then back to Boise on Friday for Saturday community service. I need to remember to keep space for my grief.
