My body has decided to debut some new flavors of pain in the last couple weeks. Usually, I’ll get some general gas pains, but I can mitigate them by taking GasX and, to an extent, by slowly rolling around to help the air get out. I’ve felt something close to this new pain before – when I had stitch-like pain it turned out to be a backup of diarrhea causing the pain. 

But the new pain is only a little like a stitch. It’s more like a hot coal temporarily taking the place of an ovary. Or like a really hard pinch that is somehow coming from the inside. It comes and goes, occasionally coming hard enough to stagger me if I’m standing. 

It’s annoying during the day, but really hard to deal with at night when I’m trying to sleep. During the day, I can stuff my brain full of distractions. If I’m supposed to be awake, I can push through it. But once I’m supposed to shut down and relax and STOP thinking, the pain takes center stage. 

I like to sleep on my stomach, half curled up, embracing a pillow and nuzzling my husband with my feet. I can sleep on my back or my sides if needed, but they aren’t the favored positions. With this pain, a total of 0 of those positions alleviates the pain. Most positions aggravate the abdominal pain, but especially my favorite. So I’ve been relying on sleep aids, with mixed results. 

These new pains are also, probably, a poop baby. I’ve been trying to encourage that lump to flow through by drinking a LOT of water (seriously, I drank more than 1.5 GALLONS on Sunday). Usually, a liquid diet or just increased drinking helps my flow. And, since I’m also taking laxatives, the fact that I haven’t cleared this is very weird to me. 

My body is very weird to me. 

I wish I understood it better. I wish I knew how to translate the sensations that it gives me. To know when the sensation means I need to rest and when it means I should push harder. When I should drink more water and when I should drink less. 

I have been paying a lot more attention to my body in recent years, trying to troubleshoot my digestive issues and get fit enough for my backpacking goals. And I have learned a lot, especially about some foods that are always bad for me (pineapple, red wine), and how my irregular period actually works. 

I suppose it’s nice that there’s more to learn. I do like learning. 

Now, if I can just learn how to clear up this current pain. . . 

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