I had a bad night last night. I had trouble falling asleep. Couldn’t stop thinking that I might have rabies. Which is silly; I’ve been bitten by dogs before. Three times, in fact. I took a Trazadone to try and help me fall asleep, but it didn’t help. I was up and crying well after bedtime. Then I took a nighttime cold medicine, and that knocked me out. I don’t want to make a habit of that.
At lunch, my neighbor came by to pick me up. He took me into town, and I went into the clinic and only waited a few minutes before they brought me back for the blood draw. I hope the lab doesn’t try to charge me for their mistake, but we’ll see. The draw went fine. I got it on the right arm this time.
Since I was there, I asked the nurse who drew the blood about the dog bite. I even showed her the tiny little mark, and she assured me that I didn’t need to worry because there were no signs of infection. Between that and hearing back from the sheriff’s deputy that the dog was up to date on its vaccinations according to the owner, I don’t think I’ll have another hard night. At least, I won’t be worried about rabies or other infections from the dog bite. Who knows if my brain will come up with something else to worry over?
I was thinking today about how I brought Ambrose’s glasses to the hospital. That I expected him to need them.
Instead, he never opened his eyes again.
Sunday will be six months. It’s supposed to snow on Friday, which may put the kibosh on me taking the trike to the hot springs to commemorate the day. And I need to repair the trike. One of the rear wheel covers got rusty and snapped off. I’ve got some glue that should do the trick, but it doesn’t work well in the cold. Tomorrow, I’m going to take the trike partially apart so I can bring the wheel cover inside where it’s warmer. I might need to remove the rear basket…
I don’t think I can do Shoulders & Arms level 2 right now. I was supposed to start that Sunday, but I didn’t. And I can’t bring myself to do it today. I think it’s triggering. It’s what I was working on in July. I’m not ready, and that’s okay. I can go for Head & Neck level 2 or keep building strength on those Hips & Glutes exercises that have been challenging me so much. It’s all part of taking care of myself.
It feels so weird. After so many years of having my life intertwined with another person so that you could hardly see where one ended and the other began, to be alone. To have no more of that intimacy and connection. I miss him so much.