Another day without driving. Not a bad day, but not exactly a good day either. Both, I suppose. There were good parts and bad parts.
I did the meditation again in the morning. I think it’s helpful. I think it’s helping me feel my feelings more. As if, by offering myself compassion, I am making space for the feelings to surface. I was judging myself more than I realized.
I ate a banana, and then went to check the mail from yesterday. The air was nice and brisk, the sun warm. Being outside feels good. It’s not the woods, but it’s so quiet. And I can see the mountains. I thought about walking around a bit more, but decided to try and get some food in me instead. Then I got back home and just sat out on the porch for a spell. It was so beautiful outside. The sun was shining on me, but I gazed upon clouds mottled gray, slowly rolling across the sky.
It got chilly when the clouds rolled across the sun so I went inside. I got a little yardwork done. I even, finally, did some mowing. Though that wasn’t until the afternoon, and I had to stop because it started storming, with high winds and rain.
I just sat around, fiddling on my phone, for a couple of hours after that. I knew that I should do something about dinner, but I just couldn’t seem to get moving. My father-in-law called, and that helped me start moving. As we talked on the phone, I made myself some minute rice and canned chicken. Easy to make, easy on the stomach, and an easy breakfast with the leftovers.
Bob reminded me to cherish my dear memories.
I was thinking about the first coast trip this morning, when we got trapped in the alcove. I feel a lot more empathy for Ambrose’s mad scrabbling at the walls now than I did before.