I remembered a dream. Not a lot of a dream, just a small snippet. I remember seeing Ambrose’s face. I touched his arm. I don’t remember waking up from the dream, but I remember having had it.
It was a nice thing to remember. The feeling of his presence.
I didn’t do a whole lot today. I haven’t eaten as consistently as I should have today. Weekends can be kind of difficult when it comes to meals.
I spent some time outside on my porch staff spinning. It’s not really a staff; it’s a broomstick. But it works as a staff. And it felt good to get into the rhythm of spinning. I did my Move U exercises.
I practiced the flute a good amount today. I went through my songs for choir.
Lots of crying today, but not in a bad way. Tides of emotion. It’s something that I have to learn how to ride. Something that is a part of me.
I thought about how my psychotic break came over a week after his death, and likened it to a tsunami. The sea of emotions receded for a full 8 or 9 days, and then absolutely subsumed me. I lost my grip on reality. And that helps me feel confident that it will not happen again. I am grieving, and there are large waves, but there is no more tsunami waiting for me.
Choir tomorrow. Supposed to be a rainy week. I kind of hope it’s raining on Wednesday for the hot springs. I like the juxtaposition of hot water and cold rain. Snow would be better, but we’re not supposed to get that until next week.