I’m staying with a friend for Thanksgiving weekend. I was a bit nervous about it, but I’m a bit nervous about anything new and different these days. Now that I’m here, I’m feeling much calmer.
I had a hard time getting moving this morning. Ended up in bed until nearly 7:15. Then yogurt for breakfast. I added some cranberry sauce that was left from the dinner my neighbor brought me. That was a nice addition, though I forgot I’d added it so it was also a surprise.
I’m on some widow groups on Facebook. It’s good to read about other people’s struggles and triumphs, fears and questions. And it’s a good way to see what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to become stuck in my grief. I’ve read posts about people 7 or more years out who are still lost in their grief, unable to find pleasure in life.
I will always remember Ambrose. The memories we made together. The lessons he taught me. The lessons I taught him.
But I want to honor those memories by living life. By loving life.
I forget now what I was watching, but one of the people on the screen said, “this is my favorite game.” And I’m trying to remember that life is my favorite game. I might be sitting on the sidelines right now, but I’m not going to stay on the sidelines. I’m going to heal, to learn how to carry my grief. And then I’m going to play.