I slept in today. It was good to sleep in a bit. I felt good about waking up in my bed. I did my meditation, and I thought about lingering in bed, but I had something more important to do. After the last few days of watching my friend make breakfast for her family, I finally felt like I could make Sunday breakfast.
Ambrose cooked almost all of our meals, but Sunday breakfast was my responsibility. My privilege. I alternated between grits and eggs, and omelets. I honestly have no idea which one I cooked last, so I chose to do grits and eggs, because I wanted that.
I last bought eggs in early October, so I wanted to be sure they hadn’t gone bad. I used the float test. They sank, and they ended up tasting just fine. I added maple syrup and some salt flakes. It was good to cook, and good to eat. It was full of memories, and I cried. I cried my eyes swollen today.
I went for a walk to the mailbox and picked up my mail. I got dishes done. I did my exercises, and a stretching session on another app that gave away a two month free trial. I’m not sure if I’ll keep up with that one, but it seemed like the right thing to do today.
There were two zoom calls for me today. I got to see some family that I haven’t seen since my parents got married over two years ago. It’s good to remember that I have more cousins than I used to. Some I haven’t even met yet.
I’ve survived my first Thanksgiving without Ambrose. And I’ve got a really big week coming up. I need to figure out what I can bring for the potluck on Friday. I’ve got dough to make on Thursday so it can rest in the fridge. I think I’ll make a quadruple batch. I can bring more than the minimum 3 dozen, and I can also give them out to neighbors if I have extra.
Tomorrow is four months. Four months of living in a world that doesn’t make the same kind of sense as it used to. I believe that I will figure this out. I’m in the thick of it, but I’m getting used to the weight.