I woke up at the alarm at 5:30 but I didn’t get up. I didn’t want to go for a walk in the air stagnation. I didn’t want to get up out of bed. I didn’t end up taking a morning shower.
I did have my healthy oatmeal for breakfast. I think I need to add just a little liquid before I heat it. It didn’t heat quite evenly because there were some chunks that were drier. But overall it was good. I’m going to be able to handle healthy oatmeal breakfasts going forward. I’m not sure if I’m going to completely phase out the sandwiches or not. I’ll have to make that decision in January.
Work was okay. Had my regular afternoon meetings. Got set up for testing my current project. During lunch I walked to the mailbox. No mail today.
I ran out of eye drops this evening, so I won’t need to do any more of those unless I get prescribed new ones on Friday. I won’t discount that as a possibility, though I really hope that my eyes are all healed up and ready for new glasses. I really can’t tell if anything’s changed.
I’m feeling very low today. Not quite sad and crying. Just low energy. I don’t want to think about how much I miss him. I just want to get through this week. I’ll be working two days next week from Chicago, but I’ll be in a different environment.
I did laundry this evening and started packing. Well. I started putting clothing aside. A few tops. I want to bring Ambrose’s Blackhawks jersey to wear on his birthday. Maybe I’ll try not to check a bag. I can do laundry at my brother’s house easily enough. And I can take the big backpack and a smaller backpack. One week’s worth of clothing that I can wash should fit…
Tomorrow morning I’m headed to Weiser to get my bite checked. I’ve been having pain with the new crown. Here’s hoping they can fix it. And hopefully the bubblegum toothpaste will have arrived and I can pick up a new tube. I’m almost out.
I hope the air stagnation clears up by morning as forecasted. I want to go for a walk. I’ll need to leave the house no later than 7:45. Though I’ll probably try to leave a bit earlier. I want to get gas while I’m down there so I don’t need to worry about filling up on Friday on the way to the retinologist.
I feel like I don’t know how to feel and also keep moving forward. Emotions or work. Emotions or exercise. Emotions or creativity. I wonder what life might be like if I didn’t have to work a regular 8 to 5 job. If I could take the time to breathe and get used to a world without him. Just pause the world in its turning for a while until I get my balance.
