This morning was okay. I’m still working through an IBS flare-up, which means my tummy hurts a lot, my hands and feet are constantly cold, and I’m not getting good sleep.
I had therapy today. Unlike last week, I actually felt I had things to talk about. My aunt likes to remind me that even though I’m an over-achiever by nature, there’s no need for trying to get an A in grieving. But I’m still kind of getting an A in grieving.
I’m letting myself feel things as they come up. I’m making space for myself to have those feelings in the privacy of my home and yard. I don’t blame myself for the emotions that come up.
When I went to plug in the second external hard drive this morning, I realized that I had the connector, but not the external power source, so I had a bit of drama this morning going to look for that. I found it pretty easily, and I’m now uploading all of that stuff to the cloud. Lots of good pictures, but not what I was looking for. Maybe it’s something that I won’t see until I’m ready to see it, or maybe it’s hidden in some subfolder that I haven’t explored yet.
I could have sworn I already wrote Ambrose’s obituary (and got his stamp of approval on it). But where that file ended up… I have no clue right now. I thought I’d be very upset if I couldn’t find the file, but now I feel more resigned than anything. I know I wrote a lot that night. It’s somewhere, even if that somewhere is in my memories.
I finally made it to the hot springs again. I haven’t been since the week before Thanksgiving. It was all women tonight, so we took over the hot tub and didn’t end up staying as long.
One of them pointed out something flying around overhead and asked what it was. We came to the consensus that it was a bat, and I watched it circle overhead. We all heard it echolocate a few times. It was incredible. I wish I could have taken a picture, but the lighting was such that no camera I own, let alone one my cell phone camera, would be able to capture the elusive silver-brown light of the bats wings outstretched in flight against a deep black background dusted with stars.
That was a good time at the hot springs, and I feel very relaxed. I think I’ll sleep well. Now it’s time to have a snack and drink a good amount of liquid to replace what I sweated out without noticing in the hot, hot water.