I had a hard time falling asleep last night. Not sure why. Dreams didn’t make it to my waking memory. I woke up a little after 5, and I really should have gotten up, but I stayed in bed and dozed and it was so hard to get up at the alarm. I dragged so much I ended up doing a half mile walk instead of the full mile – and my legs didn’t even like that very much. I guess I’m a big sore from yesterday’s five mile hike.
Work wasn’t what I planned on because something came up and I had to shift priorities. But that’s fine. It was good to have a different structure. I still need to do a bunch of things and hopefully I’ll get them worked on tomorrow. I’m starting to think about packing for the conference I’ll be going to in a couple weeks. Less than two weeks until the flight, oh my.
I did my normal routine today. I’m feeling like I might be a bit under the weather. The chia seeds instead of flax in my oatmeal gave me a bit of a tummy issue, but I think I’ll get used to it. I need to make sure I drink a lot of water right after I eat breakfast, I think.
For today’s dinner “pizza,” I used a frying pan on the stove instead of heating the oven. I thought it might be a bit faster and get me a crispier crust. It did get crispy in the middle, but not on the edges, probably because I used foil and didn’t press it down as firmly on the edges. It still came out really tasty though.
It’s staying light out later and later. The season is turning. I can see the trees starting to bud out. I’m sad that there wasn’t a real winter for us this year. I hope next year brings more snow. My after dinner walk was good. And then I exercised, played some videogames, and got some writing done. I’m working on not feeling anxiety about the withheld judgment petition. I’ve done everything that I can, and now I just need to wait. Whatever happens is out of my hands.
I wonder if I’ll ever know how Ambrose did the things that he did. I think I did know once, but I had to forget. That was my role. Forgetting so that I could live without spending every day in sorrow at his impending death. And so that he could look into my eyes, knowing the sword of Damocles hung over his head, and see no sword in the reflection.