I didn’t sleep as well as I wanted to, but my last dream of the night was a very cool story. I wanted to stay in bed and keep dreaming it. I stayed longer than I should have, figuring out what was happening next in the story. But I did get up and go for my walk, all the while thinking about it. I usually put some TV on in the morning, but this morning I didn’t want anything to interfere with the story I was thinking of. I wrote down the gist of it, but it isn’t in a form to share yet. I hope I can continue it tonight.
The moon was out when I got back from my walk.
I ended up eating breakfast at my desk while working because I spent all my time before work writing about that dream. It didn’t even involve Ambrose; it was just a story that called to me.
Work went well overall today. Got things done. Always more to do. I just missed the mail delivery when I went for my lunch hour walk. I’m not expecting anything so I’m okay with waiting until tomorrow to find out if I have any mail. I might have checked it this evening, but the neighbor dog followed me home again so I was too distracted to check. He’s not supposed to leave his yard, but I can’t get him to stay once he sees me.
I’m feeling like I just need to get through every day. I’m settled into a routine and I just need to push through to the next day, the next weekend, the next week. I wonder if I’ll feel any different once I’m finished with my probation. Probably not. I think it’s the grief. I’m still floating out there on the waves of grief, not sure where land is or which direction I’m going. Or even which direction I want to be going.
I need to finish my write ups. I’ve been avoiding finishing and I just need to push and do it. It will not be easy for me to write about day 3, because that was 7/22, the anniversary of the day we met. The first one I spent without him since we met. I just need to write it out and move on to the next day. The next trip. If I’m going to write my ICT book for this section, then I need to get working on that.
Maybe I’ll do some dedicated writing time this weekend. If the weather is as rainy as the forecast currently has, then I’ll probably skip the hiking. Just some walks around the neighborhood to get some exercise.
The clouds were spectacular this evening when I went for my post-dinner walk.
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