My tummy woke me up at 4 this morning. I dozed a bit, before waking up for good around 5:30. I did stay in bed until the alarm though. Not quite motivated enough to get out of bed early. Not when I didn’t get to bed early after all.
I ended up taking a bubble bath last night. And it felt relaxing at the time, but then I felt much more awake when I was done. I had a bit of trouble falling asleep.
I had an espresso this morning. Partly because I was tired and partly to help my bowels get moving. I don’t know what to do about my digestion right now. I’m just trying to eat as well as I can.
I’ve noticed lately that when I get in a hot shower, I kind of break out on my chest in a mottled red rash that feels like bits of sand are stuck to my skin. It doesn’t hurt or itch, it just feels a bit hot and weird. I described it to my therapist today and she said it sounded like eczema. I’ve never had eczema before, but who knows what the joys of perimenopause may bring my way. I’m going to try and moisturize a bit more. I usually take showers as hot as I can, but this morning, to see if it made a difference, I took a warm one. So sad.
I’ve missed Ambrose today. I talked through some work stuff with my therapist, and I realized that I would have been talking that through with him if he were here. And I think he would have given similar advice. I want to record and post a bit of a song that I’ve come up with for him, but I keep overthinking it instead of doing it. Somewhere along the way, I got this idea that I couldn’t do my songs if I couldn’t accompany them, but is that really something I should be allowing to hold me back?
When I arrived at the hot springs this evening, none of my neighbors were there. It was pretty empty, actually. I got to claim one of the benches all for myself. My swimsuit is full coverage to protect from the sun, so I don’t know if I had a breakout on my chest or not. I did my Move U exercises in the deep end of the pool. It was interesting, especially with hip tilts, how the water changed what muscles I focused on, or what direction of force I was trying to use.
I’m feeling low motivation today. Tomorrow will be busy, and I need to wrap some things up. I’m going to get what needs to get done, done. I’m on a track now, and I just need to keep moving through each day as it comes. I’ll finish the community service April 5th, and then go to South Carolina on the 9th. After I get back, I won’t have any plans other than regular work until my next business trip in June. Some freedom.