I woke up in the middle of the night and had a really hard time falling back asleep. My ankles were itching. My brain tried to tell stories like I had caught bed bugs or fleas from the drug testing facility waiting room. I did get some more sleep, but it wasn’t very restful.
When I woke up, I found five mosquito bites on my ankles; three on one and two on the other. I went for my walk, and the bites got aggravated from the socks and the motion. When I got back, they were very irritated and itchy, so I took a Benadryl and put hydrocortisone cream on Band-Aids that I then applied to each bite. It’s my standard treatment for bad bites.
My therapist reminded me that everything I’m going through right now is a lot. It’s good that I’m handling things, and using my calendars and lists, but I need to make time to let my righteous anger and rage move through my body and out of my body. I am not a criminal; I am a person who had a mental health crisis and got caught up in the criminal (in)justice system. The things I’m having to do are intentionally dehumanizing, like having to urinate in front of another person.
I know I can get through everything I need to do. The evaluation has been submitted, but it has factual errors so I don’t know if that matters or not. From my reading of it, I think I’ll have to take another course. I’ll be looking for a different provider, because I don’t want to reward this guy for making me do more classes, and I found at least one cheaper option with a quick search online.
I received from mail for Ambrose today from an affiliate of my insurance provider. It pissed me off that they would do that. I reached out to them and got him put on the do-not-contact list. They offered condolences. As long as it doesn’t happen again, that will be good enough for me.
Work went pretty well today. Got some things done that I needed to do. I was a little jittery after I drank a green tea to counteract the Benadryl. At the end of the workday, I did a 15 minute walk and then ate dinner and prepared for my hot springs visit. My neighbors were not there, again. I really ought to text them and ask what’s up, but I don’t feel like I have the emotional energy to spare. I had a nice chat with a couple from a small town south of Fruitland. They were up camping at Mundo in their RV.
When I got home, I applied new Band-Aids. I’d taken off the ones from the morning before going to the hot springs. And I discovered that I’d miscounted in the morning. I have six mosquito bites, not five. A nice, even three on each side. I might take some more Benadryl before bed to keep the itching down. Or a generic Claritin. Or both. The itching really kept me up last night.
I did my muves and my staff spinning, and now it’s just about time to get ready for bed. Laundry tomorrow. And maybe baking some bread if I can figure out a good time to do it.
