Today has been an odd day. I woke up feeling dehydrated and headachy. I had more interesting dreams, including one with Ambrose. I was grocery shopping without him. He was supposed to be out of town or something, but then I came upon him in the store, also shopping while eating an ice cream cone. It was banana ice cream, with visible chunks of banana in it. We finished shopping together, but when we checked out, only his items were there. I thought mine had gotten lost with someone else’s, and we ran up a hill to a parking structure to wait for her to be done so we could figure things out. We walked around the parking structure looking for a room to wait in. It was nice to feel like I was with him.
I got up around 7. I had to start drinking water and treating my headache so I wouldn’t feel miserable all day. Well, physically miserable. I have been feeling rather miserable all day as far as my mental state.
During family zoom, I decided to try and bake the Irish soda bread I’d gotten ingredients for last week. And, instead of putting the kitchen scale back where it belongs when I put the computer on the counter for zoom, I put it on the stove. I wasn’t using the stove, after all, was my thinking. Yeah, I use the oven so infrequently that I forgot that the stove top gets hot when the oven is on. By the time I realized I should move the scale, it was too late. The thing had melted and the batteries dropped down under the range. I was having a full on meltdown while my parents and brother watched and tried to talk me down. I got the batteries out and other than the melted scale everything was fine. But I was super upset at myself. It was a stupid mistake. I need to pay attention when I’m working with heat!
I think I overworked my dough, based on how the bread turned out. I could kind of tell before I baked it by how the raisins didn’t integrate. But I think I’ll be able to do better next time. I’ve got an idea of how to do better anyway. It’s going to take practice to get a good loaf, but I think I’ll get there. If I want to. Ambrose would be happy to have me baking this bread because I need buttermilk. He loved drinking buttermilk.
I went for a walk to get my mail. I detoured to my lilac bush. The daffodils are coming up, but no flower buds yet. Last year this time there were daffodils in bloom. I heard a strange rustling sound when I was out there. I explored near the raised bed to find a lizard hiding in the folds of the barrier Ambrose put on the raised bed to prevent anything from growing until we were ready to plant. We never did get around to planting or rearranging things. He had planned to build a compost area with bricks from one of the raised beds and redo the others. I don’t know what I’m going to do with them now.
I did get my two hours of work in this afternoon. And I took a bath for my sore legs. I did some very slow, controlled glute pops and some box breathing for my Move U exercises instead of exploring more arms. I just didn’t have the energy for anything new today.
The bites are still bugging me, though less so after the bath, which I took with some Dr. Teal’s coconut oil foaming bath. I hope I can walk without irritating them tomorrow, because I’d like to get back into my habits. My routine of getting up to walk and walking at lunch and after work. Guardrails that help me hold onto what I can of normalcy.
My period should be coming this week, which is not helpful with the 8 month mark looming in my mind. I’ve spent less time with the TV blaring than I usually do. The silence is nice today. Well, there are fans running, so it isn’t silent, but it’s quiet enough I can hear birds outside, and I heard a little storm blow in and out this evening.
I’m almost finished with my March submission for Pulphouse. I think I forgot part of the manuscript format for the last one, so it might not even get read. But this one will be properly formatted. It will have a chance, as long as I can finish it and submit it before tomorrow midnight.
