I didn’t get enough sleep last night, as is typical the night after choir. My brain is just so up and wired after choir, it’s hard for me to unwind and relax in the short window I have before I need to be in bed asleep. I put too much pressure on myself to sleep and end up lying in bed trying my best to pretend to be asleep.
But despite the not quite sufficient sleep, I found myself feeling pretty wide awake in the morning. I reheated chicken and rice for breakfast. I managed to get things done at work. I walked to the mailbox at lunch. I’ve been walking around the porch or all the way around the house when I start to feel overstimulated. The cold air has been good for me.
My period started in the night. I had to deal with bloodstained underwear first thing so the stain wouldn’t set. I hit it with the cold water, and then the hydrogen peroxide. Good as new.
It’s hard to deal with the cramps without being able to use Aleve. That’s what I’ve been using to manage cramps my whole life; little else works as well, certainly not the acetaminophen that’s the only painkiller I can take right now. So I’m using my heated vest and my heating pads as much as possible.
I thought I might get some mowing done today, but the cramps kept me on the couch for a while. I definitely wanted to cook the ground beef I’d thawed in the fridge. But then I looked out the back door and saw that my etrike had arrived! I had a snack first, and then started working on the assembly. Mounting the tire was such a pain that I almost gave up, but I eventually figured out the trick of it. I stopped to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner before family zoom time at 6.
I spent most of the zoom assembling the bike. My phone died at about ten to 7. First time that’s happened in a long time. I’m usually very good about keeping my phone charged. So I went inside to continue the zoom on my computer; I didn’t want my parents to worry about my disappearance.
I’m going to charge the trike in the morning, and tomorrow, after work, I’ll give it a spin. For now, the trike is on the back porch, secured under the cover that I purchased.
I got some flute practice in today. I’ll be playing at choir next week, and deciding if I’ll be playing at the concert or not. I think I’ll be able to do it, but it will depend on how fast I need to play. It’s been fun to play the flute again.
I’m crying less during the morning meditation, but also crying more during the day. Not in a bad way. In a, letting the emotions flow through me as they rise, kind of way. I feel like I’m getting better at holding space for the emotions, and not judging them. Offering myself compassion.
After the assembly, I did go ahead and cook the ground beef even though I wasn’t going to eat it for tonight’s dinner. Just got to put it away once it’s cooled down a bit.