Today has been a pretty good day so far. I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed with emotion in the morning. I ate and got to work.
After work, I practiced playing my flute. I might be playing a flute part for one of the songs for choir; it depends on how the practice goes tonight. I feel pretty good playing it solo, but I get a bit fat fingered when I try to play along with the recording.
I had a doctor’s appointment in Weiser today. One of my neighbors kindly gave me a ride. The appointment went well. I can stop taking the blood thinner when the prescription runs out. Instead of going all the way back home, I had my neighbor drop me off in Midvale.
I got dinner at the restaurant in Midvale, grilled ham and cheese, a salad, and a hot chocolate. Not sure what I’ll do for breakfast tomorrow, but that’s a problem for future me (probably instant soup). I’m hanging out here until it’s a reasonable time to walk to choir rehearsal at the Midvale school.
Last night, I had a spiritual experience. It was like a prayer or a meditation. Very comforting and cozy. I was contemplating memories of Ambrose, times we shared, moments of intense connection. I’ve felt something similar a couple times since he died, but I feel like I’m holding onto this one better. That I can access that comfort on a more voluntary basis now.
I’m a bit nervous to play my flute tonight, but I’m going to give it a go. Worst case scenario, I flub it and we choose not to have me play at the concert. But I think I can do it. I just need to focus on reading the music.
I cried at the doctor’s office because I had to tell my story. The blood clots are tied into when I went out of my head. I probably held myself very still. That would fit in with the dreams. I did not judge myself for those tears. I’ve been proactive about silencing the judge.
I’m pretty sore today, especially my butt. The trike seat is wide, but it is still a bike seat. Not kind to the sit bones. I’m looking forward to riding that trike into town tomorrow so I can get tacos. And maybe a burrito for a few future meals.