I didn’t sleep terribly well last night. I woke up around 2 and couldn’t fall back asleep for about an hour. But I didn’t feel all that tired throughout the day.
I arrived at the retinologist on time, but since I was a last minute appointment, it took a while for me to be seen. I was trying not to think too hard about how close I was to the hospital where Ambrose died.
I spent a long time in the dilation room. Watching other people come in and be called out. I could hear the doctor greeting people in the nearby exam rooms. But I got called eventually.
The doctor examined my eyes and told me the game plan. A surgical procedure called a scleral buckle, usually performed on kids, but he believes it is the right step for me at this time. It would have been better if I had come in sooner, but I can’t go backwards and fix that.
When I was waiting to be scheduled for surgery, I cried thinking about Ambrose. But I was calm by the time I got called back by the scheduler. I’m going in tomorrow morning for the procedure. I’ve got to fast tonight, and I’ll need someone to pick me up after.
I had a moment of panic thinking of who I could get to pick me up after. The friend I’m staying with can’t take the time off work. But I told the scheduler I’d figure it out, and after I left, I did. I called a work friend, and she was available to help, thank goodness.
I walked back to my friend’s house, and then went to the grocery store to get dinner and some snacks for tomorrow. I signed on to work in the afternoon to meet with my team and try to get some testing done before I’d be out for the rest of the week recovering from surgery.
I did some gentle Move U exercises. I’m not going to be able to do anything strenuous for a few weeks. I have to cancel next week’s backpacking trip.
I’m trying not to be too nervous. I am focused on positive and optimal outcomes. I’m meditating on getting through this well. I’m also staying up late so I don’t have to be awake too long while I’m fasting in the morning.
I had a family zoom this evening. Went over the surgery plan. My dad said he wished he could come and be here for me, but he and my step-mom are going to France tomorrow.
The recovery is going to be intense. I’m going to have to keep from touching my eye. A regimen of eye drops. There will be pain. I’ll have a post op appointment Friday morning in Nampa. I really hope I’ll be able to drive home on Friday afternoon.