The last time I made omelets, I didn’t have a meat handy. Sure, I could have cooked up some sausage, or maybe even tried experimenting with something like a sardine omelet, but I looked around the kitchen and made a different decision. 

On our kitchen counter, situated so that they can be grabbed while heading out the door, is a box of mini Slim Jims. I mostly don’t eat those unless I’m out on a backpacking trip these days, but the first omelet of the morning isn’t for me, it’s for Ambrose. If I made mine first, I wouldn’t want to make another until I’d eaten it! 

So I grabbed a Slim Jim, scored the outer layer and then peeled off the casing. Then I smooshed it up into little pieces. That was the base, but I wanted more. A quick trip to the fridge provided cream cheese and marinated garlic. I mixed up all three in a small bowl and then started on the eggs. 

I’ve figured out, through trial and error, that my best tactic is to melt the butter on medium heat (so it doesn’t burn or brown), and then, when I’m ready to pour the eggs in, I turn the heat up just below the hottest setting and count to 20. THEN I pour in the eggs. The 20 count wait, I’ve found, makes it so the eggs don’t stick to the pan very much at all. 

Once the eggs have been mostly cooked, I add the filling and then cover to allow it to finish cooking and for the heat to melt the cream cheese mix. 

After the omelet finished cooking, I roll it off the pan and onto the plate, then finish with a bit of the Slim Jim, cream cheese, and marinated garlic mix on top. At no point did I tell Ambrose what was in his omelet; I just gave it to him and waited for the reaction. 

Turns out, I make a fine Slim Jim omelet. 

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