Like many other Idahoans, I bought an Idaho million dollar raffle ticket. The odds are decent – much better than the standard lottery, but I did not purchase with a true expectation to win. Like most of my lottery purchases, it is more with a wishful spirit and conscious donation to public schools and the permanent building fund that I buy these overpriced pieces of scrap paper.

The drawing for the raffle was held two days ago, and the winning numbers have been revealed, but I have not checked my ticket. It is sitting in a metal lunchbox featuring Invader Zim that I have never once used for actual food. No winner has been announced, although it has been revealed that the winning ticket was purchased in Ada county (the very county in which I, and I’m betting at least 100,000 others, purchased a ticket).

By not checking the ticket, and by whoever has won not checking theirs, I am able to preserve for a little while longer that sense of wishful hope and delight. What if I did win? What if that winning ticket is sitting in my box, waiting to be revealed? I imagine a picture of myself in the newspaper, holding a ridiculously huge check and grinning my face off. I imagine taking a cruise, buying a car, investing in some land… These are dreams that I already have, but a cool million would certainly help them along.

I haven’t won, but I haven’t yet lost either, and I find myself content to remain ignorant.

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