Happy Birthday.

That’s what I should be saying to Ambrose today. He should be 64 years old. I should be singing him, “When I’m Sixty-Four” and laughing about I still need him, but he’s the one who feeds me.

But that’s not the story I get to live.

Instead, I got woken up by my brother, because I slept late. I think I might have slept a bit less late if I hadn’t woken up to go to the bathroom at the exact moment it was occupied. Which meant I had to stay awake a bit until it was empty, and then I had trouble getting back to sleep. I probably could have gotten up at that time, but I feel like it was too early. And I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to face the day.

So that meant I had about twenty minutes to get ready to leave for brunch. Not a problem for me. It was better to be in a hurry than to have the chance to take my time.

I got catfish and grits for brunch. The catfish was good, but super greasy. I had a hard time with that. Still, good catfish is good catfish, and I ate all of it, as well as a beignet. Then we walked around for a bit, heading for the used bookstore.

I decided to make my own stop at an adult store on the way, where I made a purchase. I think Ambrose would be pleased with me for making that particular stop. I got several music books at the used bookstore. I had thought to just get books of songs, but I ended up getting lesson books. I think some structure will be good for me. Things to practice.

I spent the afternoon with my sister-in-law watching TV until it was time to get ready to go to the hockey game. She had to work, or she would have come with as well.

My brother and I drove together and arrived before my parents. We did a circuit of the arena, as I prefer to do when I first arrive – to get the lay of the land and check out what food was available, since I’d only eaten a small packet of pistachios since brunch.

I ended up getting a large container of nachos, which I offered to share around. Well, I picked out the nachos. My brother insisted on paying. Then we found our seats, with about five minutes to spare before they started the theatrics. The opening was incredible. I didn’t realize you could do so much fire and fireworks inside of an arena! So many fireworks! I took them all as a tribute for Ambrose.

My parents arrived in time for the anthem. We weren’t seated in the right order for my dad to be able to hear us, but we made do with a lot of yelling and his turning his body. There was an empty seat to my right, which felt appropriate. Like it was Ambrose’s seat.

Before I got there, I wasn’t sure how I would feel to be at the hockey game, and I wasn’t sure it was the right choice for his birthday. But once the game began, and I started explaining rules and action to Claudia here and there, I realized that it was the correct choice. I have a lot of memories of going to hockey games with Ambrose. He brought me to my first, an Idaho Steelheads game in which the home team didn’t score a single goal. And yet, the game was so fun I wanted to go again. Whenever we could, we would go to a hockey game for his birthday, though the actual game would usually not be right on his birthday.

One year, he decided to buy the tickets. He went online, found his birthday, and purchased the tickets. We showed up on the date to find that the game that night was not hockey, but basketball. We had a good laugh at his mistake and made the best of it. A night out together was still fun, even if it wasn’t the game we thought we were going to see.

The Chicago Wolves put on a good show tonight. No goals in the first period, but the Wolves scored first in the second period, right in front of us. The first two home goals got additional fireworks going off, but all the subsequent goals only had a siren. I think they spoiled me with all those pyrotechnics in the beginning. I wanted more!

Though they led 4 to 1 at one point, the lead was cut to a single goal, and the end of the game was quite exciting. An empty net goal seemed to put the win in their hands, but the Admirals got a goal with 30 seconds left on the clock to bring the deficit back to one. But they won in the end, another fitting tribute for my man.

David and I listened to music from our teenage years on the ride home, and that was good, too. I’ve been getting rides from a lot of people, and I’m not always comfortable singing out to the music they play, or I don’t know the music they play. It was really nice to drive around and sing freely like I would with Ambrose.

Happy Birthday, my love.

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