I had a complete brain fart and didn’t leave on time for my appointment on Friday. I missed it. And I realized as I was driving home that I have been pushing myself too hard. That’s why I’ve been feeling vaguely ill and exhausted.
I decided to take the weekend off. I didn’t even journal, let alone blog. I did my best to think about nothing. To sleep as much as I could. I read books, and watched some TV. I didn’t leave the house. I didn’t shower until this morning. I thought about driving out for a hike or even a picnic, but decided I needed to focus on recovery and not focus on a long drive.
I felt much better this morning. Still emotional, but not so drained. Saturday was 21 months. I had planned on hiking that day, but I think what I did was more important for my well being at this particular time. I avoided news and social media all weekend and ignored all texts (sorry to my brother, who got concerned when I didn’t reply).
I did keep up with my 15 minutes of Move U movements each day, but I stuck to breathing exercises to keep things simple. I also watered my tree on Saturday, but not Sunday because I read that waterings should be daily the first two weeks and every three to four days thereafter. This encourages the roots to reach deep for their water. I think it’s looking good today.
When my parents asked what I’d done over the weekend, I told them that I purposely did as little as possible. And I cried a bit. Because I get emotional even thinking about needing to take that kind of break. But my step-mom was all for a good pause. What needs to be done around the house will still get done.
I’ve made an executive decision to go forward with my eye exam tomorrow. The retinologist seemed certain that I’d be done healing by now, so I’m going to run with it. Is that the wisest course? Maybe not, but I’m ready for new glasses and I’ll live with the consequences if it turns out my prescription is going to change drastically. I already know I can survive the better part of a year with an incorrect prescription.
This blog was becoming a kind of pressure. I want to keep posting regularly, but it might be time to scale back from daily. Maybe the ‘responsibility’ of once or twice a week is doable again. I know that I can’t really turn my brain off if I continue to write. I’m looking forward to Memorial Day weekend camping. That will be a good brain off time.
