I am not feeling okay. Not even a little. I watered my trees this morning. I pushed myself through the work day, including several meetings. I did my best.
Now, after a nice zoom with my parents, it’s time to get out of here. I don’t want to be in this house on 7/25 at all. That’s the day he had his stroke. So I’m going out to the woods. I’ll start the drive to Big Creek tonight and finish it in the morning. On Sunday, I’ve got a family zoom so I’ll do that from Big Creek and then head home after. That means I won’t get home Sunday until evening, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make so that I can go there and feel the peace of that place.
I had been thinking about rescheduling my gastro appointment next week for later, but I’m not feeling any better and I’ve been on the antibiotic and proton pump inhibitor for a week. The iron for a bit more than a week. I think it will be worthwhile to go, even if they just end up telling me it’s stress. Which is a concern – that I’ll be dismissed because I have an obvious stressor.
Time to hit the road.