I woke up before the alarm, but I didn’t want to look at the clock, so I thought I could go back to sleep. I didn’t end up going back to sleep before the alarm went off. But I didn’t feel too sleepy at the time. Just low motivation to get out of bed. Still, I did get out of bed and made it outside to weed my lilac. I think I got all the non-lilac or daffodil plants pulled, but some of the creepers had snappy roots, so I don’t think I got the whole thing out, just the tops.
I also unburied the lilac a bit from the straw that I’d put down for the winter. It looks like it’s trying to grow more and I want to give it closer access to light. When I was done weeding, I gave it some water, which I don’t do very often. Maybe I’ll try to do it on a regular basis. Water Wednesdays. Especially as the summer heats up and dries out.
At therapy today, I realized I was almost more dreading the anniversary of the psychotic episode than the anniversary of Ambrose’s death. I’m not sure what I want to be doing on those days that I lost last year, but I know now that I need to have some plans in place. Maybe taking days off, maybe just kind of putting some days on standby. I might want to work and bury myself in that, or I might want to get outside and away from the house where it happened. I wish I could visit my aunt in Colorado or she could come visit me.
I had a working meeting this afternoon to go over an issue I was having trying to create an integration to load data, and with the help of having four people watch me work the process, I made a breakthrough. With a little development aid, I should be able to make the process do what I want it to do, so that’s exciting. More testing needs to be done, but it’s promising, and that meeting energized me. Which was good, because I had like 3 hours worth of meetings in my 4 hour afternoon.
After work I had a little dinner and made my way to the hot springs. I started in the hot tub, which felt good to me even though it was hot outside (high 80’s, maybe low 90’s). I read on Ambrose’s Kindle until another regular joined me in the tub ostensibly to read, but we ended up chatting along with two other regulars. We were the only ones left at the whole pool and ended up chatting and swapping stories until nearly closing time at 8. I learned that the woman was also a widow, though it’s been years for her, and I told them that Ambrose had died, which choked me up. They all remembered seeing him. I got a good hug, and an offer to stop by and talk if I ever want to or need to.
I drove home smiling. I was hungry and thirsty and I was going to have to push back bedtime to get everything done that I wanted to get done, but I was very content to have interacted with some people on a deeper level than surface. It was good for me. We all stayed later than intended, but it was good.
At home, I had a snack, did my Move U exercises, and drank some water. Now it’s time to get ready for bed. The plan is to go for a run tomorrow morning. I’d like to do 2 miles, but even 1 would be okay. Then exercises over lunch/exercise release time, and mowing after work.