I managed to do a mile walk this morning. It was chilly, but not too cold. And the moon was out, so I didn’t even need to use a headlamp, though I did turn on the red light for my rear, just in case there was traffic. I didn’t see any cars though. Or any animals. I did one set of pushups, dips, and an assisted bar hang. I’m going to build back up and get strong. It’s time.
I’ve been waiting for my period to arrive for nearly a week, and it finally came this afternoon. I used to have very long cycles, sometimes 45 or even 60 days between periods, but the last four years or so I’ve been more regular. This one was 37 days which is long for the new normal. I miss having less total periods per year, but the regularity is kind of nice. When it actually is regular.
Work was super busy. It’s that time of year. There was an urgent issue to take care of with the morning load, and a bunch of other things that I was trying to clear off my plate so I could start doing some serious testing of another process that needs to get off the ground. It’s good to be busy, and even though training and documenting makes things take a bit more time, it’s a good investment.
I made sure to do my Move U exercises while I prepared dinner and after I ate dinner so I wouldn’t have to take the time to do them after choir practice. My friend gave me another bucket of tomatoes and a couple more cucumbers. It’s getting close to frosting down by the river where she lives, so this might be the last of the tomatoes. I ought to bring my cactuses inside and see if anything came of the sweet potato slips that I planted. Though it will freeze later up here on the hill than down in the valley, it won’t be by much.
Choir was good. I chatted with a bunch of different people, and got some good hugs. I’ve felt in need of hugs today. I’m having a bit of an emotional tide rise this week. Part of it is probably from hormone fluctuations with the period starting. But a part of it is the approach of my birthday next week. Another birthday without him. I can hardly stand to think about it. It’s not fair that I’m getting older and he’s just stopped. That I’m probably going to live for more years after he died than we were together.
I’m letting the emotions flow. There is no end to grief. I know that I have many people who love me and who are praying for me. I am alive, and I am taking each day as it comes. I am making music and writing and creating. This is my journey right now.
