I went to bed early last night, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I typically put an audiobook or music on a 30 minute timer and I know I’m having trouble if I’m still awake when it turns off. Last night, I was still awake. Ambrose would tell me that if I can’t fall asleep in about 20 minutes then I need to get up and do something else for a while, like read a paper book or just sit on the couch for a bit. No screens. But before I got the motivation to do that I must have fallen asleep.
Up at 4:30, but not out of bed until 5:30. I might get up at 4:30 tomorrow if I wake then. That will give me more time to get exercises after my walk. Today’s walk was a little rainy, but it wasn’t raining like yesterday. Probably about the same for tomorrow and then we’re going to dry off a bit.
I was going to attend the Move U Office Hours at 1 pm, so I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and cut up an apple to eat at my desk around noon as part of my breakfast prep. I was all ready to go at 1, but the zoom never started because Dr. Mike had 6 pm on his calendar instead of noon (pacific time). That was a bit frustrating because I’d rearranged my whole day for that. I didn’t want to leave the hot springs early tonight; I specifically scheduled my hot springs for Thursdays the days that Office Hours are scheduled for the evening this month. I walked to the mailbox and did spinal oscillations for today’s exercises. And I got pasta boiled for tonight’s dinner.
This morning, I presented during a meeting. I put on a good show, talking through the integrations that our department uses between our various software systems. One of my colleagues was very engaged with a lot of questions, which I appreciated though he kept apologizing. I had a little cry afterwards. Just a lot of emotions bubbling inside me this week. My period will be here next week so that’s not helping.
I had an afternoon meeting right at 2, but it got rescheduled to tomorrow so my whole day felt a bit off. I did get a lot done at work, but it was hard to adjust to the changes in anticipated routine.
I fed my friend’s dog after work. I used the pre-boiled pasta so I could get to the hot springs nice and early. I like to leave about a quarter to 6 so I get there a little before 6 and have time to chat before I get in the pool. The hot tub was already occupied when I made my way over there, but it wasn’t full.
It rained pretty hard around 7:20. It felt really good to stand and let the rain fall on me and then plunge into the hot tub. Like an all natural cold dip. There were thunderstorms in the forecast, but they held off at least until after I left around 7:35. I haven’t heard any thunder since I’ve been home. That is one thing I miss about living in Illinois. A lot more thunderstorms in the Midwest.
I am putting one foot in front of the other. I am breathing. I am taking care of myself and getting what needs to be done, done. I just need to keep going. Keep moving forward. Build on what I’ve started. I am taking much better care of myself and my house than I was a year ago. Someday, I will plant a garden. And I plan to plant a tree this month. Maybe with some of Ambrose’s ashes mingled in among the roots.
