I laid out clothes last night to go running this morning. But when the alarm pulled me from a dream I can’t remember, I could hear the wind howling. I decided to do some exercises inside. I did some Move U exercises, and then I did a scaled CrossFit workout (Annie, with jumps instead of double unders). I got a bit sweaty, and that felt good. I had to push to get through all those situps, and I was slow, but it felt good.
Work was okay. Still having issues with focus, but I have felt more productive the last two days. I’ve got a meaty SQL to figure out and that helps as long as I have a window of time to devote. Can’t work on that five minutes before a meeting.
I’m working on being gentle and compassionate with myself. It makes sense that I would be feeling more of the grief now because I had to hold myself down a bit last year to get through the legal issues. And even if it didn’t make sense, it would still be okay. I’m feeling a bit like I’m falling apart lately. I’m doing my best, and what that looks like isn’t the same every day. Maybe if I repeat that often enough I’ll believe it.
I had a nice time at the hot springs this evening. I managed to forget my book so I chatted with some fellow regulars who were in the hot tub when I arrived. And I paid up my membership for the next year. I like having that as a regular part of my week. I wonder if Ambrose spent most of his time in the pool while I was in the tub so that after he died I could feel like he was just out in the pool while I sat in the tub.
A storm blew through this afternoon, but it was clear before my hot springs time started. I got some good cloud pictures when it was stormiest.
