I had poor sleep last night. I’m still avoiding caffeine so today was a challenge.
I had a good talk with my aunt over video call. It was really good to see her. I’m going to make a point of catching up every week. Strengthening and maintaining that connection will be good for us both.
I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow.
Work was okay.
I watered my trees. I fed Jake. I cooked dinner for the week. I called my eye doctor about whether I should be able to see out of my new lenses yet and they advised doing a walk in with an optician so I’m going to leave work early tomorrow and get that done because I really would like to be able to see clearly out of both eyes. That would be nice.
I’ve been crying a lot today. Didn’t shower. Didn’t get out and mow. But I did my exercises and kept that streak alive. 717 days now. I’m closing in on two years. A powerful streak. It would have been a lot longer by now if I hadn’t had that psychotic break. It’s funny, the fact that I don’t remember what I was doing three years ago on this day or five or ten or even last year doesn’t bother me. But it’s different. It’s not that I don’t remember two years ago, it’s that I missed it entirely. I was off in my brain having an absolute blast telling myself stories, experiencing and narrating, connecting different storylines as I went along. It bothers me not to know what was going on in the world around me while I wasn’t there.
I miss Ambrose.