I got out of bed well this morning. Proceeded to brush my teeth while alternating between calf raises and squats to warm my legs up for my run. My run was insanely slow, but I did it. After I finished the mile, I went for a half mile walk to the mailbox for a cooldown. Then inside for some incline pushups, assisted dips, and bar hangs. I did two rounds of 10 reps and 20 seconds, and I started a tracking sheet which will help me build that habit.
I got some water on my poor trees. They’ve been dropping leaves due to my neglect. I really ought to be watering them every day, should have been doing that since mid-June probably. So I’ll try to make it up to them and get them water every day until it’s actually time for the leaves to turn yellow and fall off.
Last night, before I went to sleep I had myself a cry. For pretty much the whole first year since Ambrose died, I was looking to that one year mark as something. Some event. A catalyst. A change. But the changes happen over time. Not suddenly on an anniversary. The only thing that a year means is that I have been through every tough date – the birthdays and anniversaries – once. That’s all. He’s still gone and I still miss him so much. I’m learning how to carry that grief day by day, breath by breath. That’s all I can do, and I have to let myself continue this process. I can’t pretend that getting past one year means anything other than I know I can survive each and every one of the tough days that are going to happen again and again for as long as I live.
Work went pretty well today. I got a lot done, but there’s more to do. Which is a good thing. I would be out of a job if there weren’t always more to do. One of my team members is taking some vacation time, so there will be a bit more business in the rest of my week. A good thing.
I did my Move U exercises during exercise release/lunch time. I stuck with Back & Core level 2 week 4 review. I want to feel confident on those assisted side planks before I move on. Technically, the pushups and dips that I did this morning count towards Move U time, but I’m only going to count those if I’m really short on time and need to do an abbreviated session to keep up my 15 minutes per day streak, which now stands at 360.
After work, I got done what I had planned to do yesterday, though I drove rather than take the trike. I think I need to try filling the tire one more time and giving it a good spin to redistributed the goop I put in it. If that doesn’t hold overnight, then I’ll replace the tube, though I probably won’t get to that until the weekend after next. I printed out my passport renewal application that I will be able to use to get a book in addition to my card, got some more lettuce at the grocery store, and got a burrito for dinner from Hugo’s taco truck. Those things are so big it might be tomorrow’s lunch as well.
At home, I ate dinner and watched part of a movie. I’ve been feeling kind of floaty in the evenings lately. It was good to just focus on watching a movie without multi-tasking. No phone in my hand, no computer games going. Just relax into the story of it.
I’m going to try to run again tomorrow morning. Plus the pushups, dips, and hangs, which I’m marking on my calendar as “C” for calisthenics. Writing things on a calendar helps me stick with a habit. I want to buy a giant calendar, or a poster board upon which I can draw a giant calendar. That’s the way for physical activity, and I think that will help me with getting back into any habit that I want to focus on. My mind keeps going to playing the guitar. I’m not very good, but I also don’t practice very much. One can’t change without the other changing.
It’s been smoky, but it’s supposed to rain tonight. I hope it rains, but not when I want to be out running. The forecast indicates it will be raining, so I guess I’m just going to have to get wet.
