I was already going a bit slower than normal this year in writing my book. My mom dying threw me for a loop, and I’m no longer expecting myself to publish before the end of the year. I want this book to be better than the ones before it, so I’m asking for criticism from my first reader that will help me make the book interesting to read. So far, he’s giving that for sure. 

It won’t be the first time that I’ve had to publish a year’s book the following calendar year. It probably won’t be the last. Life doesn’t always give us what we expect. If 2020 has emphasized one life lesson, that would probably be it. We never know what the future might hold, whether in the next year, the next month or the next day. 

I’m finding it difficult to focus, and it’s taking a lot of energy to keep up with my day job. I’m also putting a lot of energy into working out. Working out is good for me in many ways, but I also need to be careful about pushing my body too hard, because I am, at least in part, using exercise as a stress reliever. And I’ve got a lot to work through. 

Once I do finish my solo book, I want to update my trail guides. Then there’s a kind of self-help and/or philosophy book that’s tumbling about in my head. I don’t know if I’m going to write it next or if I’m going to need more before I get to a place where I can. It depends on my confidence level at any particular moment. Do I feel like these ideas are important and that I can state them better than they might have been before? Or do I feel like these ideas are stupid and/or have already been written to death and/or I’m certainly not the best person to do the presenting of these ideas? 

I’m not sure how many of my ideas might have been written about before, because I’m still at the idea stage. I want to actually do some writing before doing any research. Otherwise, I’ll be influenced by the reading of others’ interpretations instead of presenting my own. But I have been thinking of revisiting some philosophy from college, specifically the book I wrote my senior essay on, Leibniz’ Principles of Nature and Grace. If that book has influenced my ideas, then they’re already influenced since I read it, thoroughly, before. 

My boss at work keeps reminding everyone looking forward to 2021 that nothing is going to magically change on January 1 (covid will still be here, etc…). It really annoys me when he does that, because when I bring that up, I’m trying to look at moving forward with a different attitude, internally. People want, perhaps need, milestones in their lives. Routine. Organization. Our calendar is designed to give us that. We get new weeks, new months and new years, all excellent inflection points, just waiting for someone to take advantage of them. I know that outside circumstances on January 1 will closely resemble those of December 31. But I can hope that attitudes can change. My own, if no one else’s. 

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