I had a hard time falling asleep last night. I couldn’t seem to get comfortable. And my brain wasn’t exactly being loud, but it wouldn’t turn off either. I’m glad it wasn’t a work night. Once I did get to sleep, I had some nice and interesting dreams.
I woke up a little after 6, which was not at all my intention. I turned my alarm off and hoped to sleep in a bit, but it was not to be. I did stay in bed for a while after waking up. Thinking of Ambrose, and feeling my emotions. It got kind of intense, and I didn’t go for my walk right when I got up. I had a little snack first instead.
When I went for my walk, the sun was just starting to burn the fog off the valley. It still covered the town, leaving the water tower floating just above.
My left leg has been giving me some pains lately. I’m trying to massage it out and try to figure out what’s been going on. After my shower, I applied some Vicks Vaporub. That stuff is always more intense when I put it on after a shower when my pores are open from the hot water. I’ll have to keep up with the massage for a while, I think. I’m trying to be conscious of my gait and how I’m standing.
When I first woke up, I felt like I had a headache coming on. I’ve had them every two weeks for the last six weeks. Maybe it’s hormonal. I should be having my period soon. Or it could be stress related, though I’d expect to have more headaches if it were stress related. I did go ahead and take the migraine medication this afternoon rather than waiting for the headache to get worse.
I’ve been having a lot of emotions today. Spent some time lying down on the floor, wishing Ambrose were here with me. Sometimes, I’d ask him to lie down on top of me, so I could feel the weight of his body on mine. I called it squishies. Maybe I should get myself a weighted blanket.
I finally put my trike back together and rode it into town to do a little shopping. I got the ingredients for kidney bean stew, and the trike stayed in one piece. It was nice to get out in the sunshine, and I had some good conversations with folks at the grocery store.
With the extra time I took off work on Friday, I decided to do an hour of work today. It went more quickly than I expected. I’ll have another two to do tomorrow to make up for the time I’m going to spend teaching next week.
My license is now valid, though they have not yet taken off the interlock restriction. I expect that it’s just a matter of them not having gotten to my email on Friday. I’ll give them until Tuesday morning to get it done before I call and ask what the hold up is. If they need another copy or something direct from the court or what. I’ll be going to the DMV with my neighbor on Monday to get a physical copy of my license, which will get me one more step closer to being able to legally drive again.
My neighbor was busy cutting up some beef in the early afternoon when we usually head to the transfer station, so we went closer to 4 in the afternoon today. He gave me some stew which I’ll probably have for lunch tomorrow. I still had some Friday spaghetti for dinner tonight.
I’ve been focusing on reading The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. My cousin recommended it; she read it because of a dream she had of our grandfather, and that was a good enough recommendation for me. It was actually the campus read the first summer I worked at Boise State, but I didn’t have time to read it then. And I’m pecking away at The Courage to Grieve, which makes me highly emotional. And I’ve got a comfort reread for just before bed. It feels normal to me to be reading several books. I even left the TV off for a while to read today, and also went outside to read. It’s really too cold for that, but I did it anyway.
I was going to do a games night with my neighbors tonight, but they’re a bit under the weather. Since I just got over being sick, I didn’t want to risk picking up anything else, so we’re postponing for now.
I didn’t get any writing done today. I mean, I journaled. And I wrote this. But I wanted to write on my books. I still have some time tonight. Just to get a few words on the page. To start that flow. Because if he’s with me, then he can read it, but only if I write it.
