I am not the kind of worker who commonly makes mistakes. But the last couple weeks, I’ve been making a quite few at work. I forget things. I start to ramble. I click the clicks that shouldn’t be clicked and forget to click the clicks that should!

I’ve also gained some weight. I’ve kept up, mostly, with exercise, but my diet has not been the best. Especially all the booze. Yeah, it was probably mostly the liquor. Mostly. 

And, for the first time in a long time, I snapped at my husband for pretty much no reason at all. I mean, there was an action on his part that caused my snapping, but his action was pretty irrelevant to my reaction. He could have said just about anything in that moment and I would have snapped. 

So, my mom died. 

Something that still feels slightly unreal, tinged with the hallmarks of a half-remembered dream. 

It doesn’t matter what my relationship was with her at the end. She was still my mom. And I have good memories and bad. 

I am mourning. 

And I’m going to have to forgive myself for the mistakes I’ve made and will make as I go through this process. 

Berating myself for these mistakes is only going to add to the stress and the sorrow, and I don’t like the way that makes me feel. 

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