I got up early and got moving because I wanted to get exercises done and have time to play some games before work. The wind wasn’t howling as loudly as it had been the night before, but it was still quite windy outside for my walk. Not my favorite thing, but I was bundled up for it.
I’m still pretty stirred up, emotionally, from last week. Going back to St. Al’s and seeing the helicopter. Having another medical procedure without Ambrose to take care of me. The damn IRS stuff. There’s a lot going on, and I need to remind myself that it’s okay to feel upset.
I set some incense burning before I started work so that there would be a pleasant smell when the HVAC guy came to do my spring maintenance. It was two guys this time; one was much younger so I figured he was a trainee. The other one was the one who replaced my capacitor last fall, which he remembered after I brought it up.
I did not dress warmly enough for my lunch walk to check the mail. It looked all nice and sunny out, but that wind was still blowing fiercely. I had on something that would have been perhaps too warm if the wind wasn’t blowing right through it. I made sure to put something around my ears when I went out for the post dinner walk, as well as a windbreaker, because the wind was still going strong by then.
A few more songs for my grief-crying-time playlist, but I haven’t committed 100% to either of them. One of them is “You Can’t Hold on Too Long” by The Cars, which touches me because that’s off his favorite Cars album. The refrain is the title plus the words, “it’s alright.” I find that comforting in a sad way. Like he’s telling me that I can’t hold on to his memory for too long, because however long I hold on is the right amount.
I looked at my lilac today, and I didn’t see those proto flower buds I saw at the hot springs. It’s possible that they’re there, but I don’t have my hopes up for blooms this year. It’s still a very small lilac bush, only planted three years ago.
A good family zoom this evening. We talked a bit about the No Kings rallies being held this weekend. He’ll be going in Chicago, but I’ve decided not to go this time. And afterwards I called my father-in-law back and had a good conversation with him.
