Seven or eight years ago, I had a run buddy at work. He was an older guy, a bit cranky, but for a while I got along with him pretty well. We would run together once or twice a week, starting out from the Rec Center and running up to two miles outside or inside if the weather was foul.
While we ran, we would chat. That was part of the fun of running with someone, being able to have conversations.
At the time, my weight was where I thought it was destined to forever remain, fluctuating between 145 and 155 pounds. And one day, I told this guy that I would like to know how I would look weighing 130 pounds, a weight that is actually right on the high end of the “ideal” weight for my height.
Now, I can’t speak to his motivations or internal thought processes, but I can recall what he said to me in response to that wish.
“No woman looks good at 130 pounds.
“My ex-wife was 130 pounds once and it was disgusting.”
Okay, the second sentence was not an exact quote, but the first one was. I thought to myself at the time that, clearly, this male did not understand why someone standing 5 feet 8 inches tall at 130 pounds might look very different from a person at 5 feet 4 inches tall at the same weight. I didn’t respond to him out loud though.
That was probably for the best, as I later found out that if I wasn’t willing to muzzle my opinions, he wasn’t willing to be my run buddy anymore. And by that point, I was like, you want to bitch and moan about this situation with your daughter for thirty minutes and then tell me I can’t offer my opinion on the whole mess? Clearly, you don’t know me and don’t want to.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself, it’s that I can’t have someone as a friend who doesn’t want me to speak – and I’m not talking about blunt honesty, I’m phrasing things as gently as possible here. I’m the friend that listens closely and gives advice, but it turns out that’s not for everyone. It wasn’t much longer before our runs together stopped.
Anywho. I’ve actually reached that 130 pound milestone now. I’m still fluctuating, but my current low is 129 and current high is like 134.
I look fabulous.
I can knock out small sets of strict pull ups.
I’m still running.
Turns out, I was well served by never speaking with that guy again.